Crabby Mama

February’s theme is love and marriage. Rubin notes that, “working on my marriage was an obvious goal for my happiness project, because a good marriage is one of the factors most strongly associated with happiness…the atmosphere of my marriage set the weather for my whole life” (39). Scientific study, anecdotal evidence and my own personal observation certainly confirm that, arguably the most primary relationship in an adult’s life, the marital relationship has a strong impact on happiness.

Today, I’m not setting any goals (or asking you to). Today is about reflecting on where you are, and brainstorming where you want to be.

I was talking to some friends the other day about marriage. We mentioned how not everyone is lucky enough to KNOW deep down that they are with the right person. That is not to say that we have not been through any rough patches. But ultimately because of those times, I feel like we have consciously, over and over, made the decision to be together. EVERYTHING is better with Mike here with me. Sharing the laughter and the difficulties of daily life with him is all that I ever hoped it would be. It becomes more and more insane to think that I almost settled for less. I did not think that there was someone out there just right for me. But that is how I feel.

Now we have our differences. But in all the ways that matter, the ones that make lifetime partners, we fit together exactly right. I am proud of our (almost) 7 years together with no sign of the “itch” in sight. I eagerly anticipate the next 70 years with him by my side every day.

To make it the next 70 years, I am sure there are things I can do to better our relationship. And obviously a better relationship leads to a happier life.

And that will be the Happiness Project for February – what steps can you take to be more positive in your relationship? Rubin has hers, and they’re great…for her. But this is one month where her roadmap is not so helpful. Only you know what you can do to improve your relationship. So start thinking of a couple goals!